wii won't be doing that again anytime soon

A few nights ago, my roommates and I decided it was time to get out of the house. We'd been eating pink-frosted cupcakes most of the evening and worshiping those brilliant geniuses who invented the DVR. Thinking we'd stretch our sea legs a bit (our futon is anything but comfortable. We might as well be sitting on the deck of a boat) we headed out on a late-night jaunt in the hood. K decided we'd head over to her friend H's house. H is out of town and has asked K to look in on the place. After giving ourselves much more of a self-guided tour than was probably necessary and/or appropriate (that girl has the closet of dreams!) we helped ourselves to some otter pops and headed back outside. K also decided we would stop in to see P and D. It would be short and sweet, she said. Sucking the last bit of blue juice out of my otter pop tube, I followed my roomies up the front steps, blowing air in and out of my otter pop wrapper while we waited for someone to answer the door. I looked positively seven years old. I had just come from the perfect house of a very successful single 30 year-old so-on-top-of-her-life girl and I was curling my otter pop wrapper in and out like a snake, blue tongue and all. The only thing that saved upon meeting P and D for the second time is the fact that I bare the name of a 92 year-old German woman.

D answered the door, pencil behind his ear. He was beyond excited to see us (the seven year old included) and invited us in. P slouched on the sofa, and was engrossed in a wicked round of Mario Kart. Sure, I've heard of The Wii. I've even seen one in person (and not just the other night). But I have absolutely NO patience for such things. Give me an otter pop and I'll entertain myself for eight hours. Hand me a Wii controller thingy and you've lost me. Perhaps I was robbed of a childhood, but I have spent 30 minutes of the last 26 years of my life with a Nintendo. This is not an exaggeration. That said, I believe I have more brain cells than 95 percent of the three people who read this blog. I'd rather use them twisting an otter pop wrapper around my finger until it turns blue and matches the shade of my tongue. A color theory lesson at its finest.

However, the other night, I felt like a rude guest. Here P was, offering up his Wii for the taking. I know how much he loves that thing. I see the way he looks at it. It's true love for sure. "Just one round," he begged. After a discourse on why I wished that upon no one (a round of Wii with the likes of me), I found myself with a white control (is that what it's called?) in hand. "Just press two to go, and pull the button underneath to use your Super Powers." That's what P said. This is what I heard, "Blah, blah, blah." Just kidding, P. Love ya! Before I knew it, I was standing up on one leg, the other behind me, knee up on the couch (something about my center of gravity?) maneuvering the white controller, and shouting "Go, Dude! Go! Go Dude! Go!" This was by no means an exclamation of excitement. This was a demand. I was in 12th place behind my other two roommates and P, who got me into this mess in the first place. Twenty seconds of my life I will never get back. I wish I would have plummeted into the brown water (in what backwards world is water brown?!) at 15 seconds. At the latest. We certainly won't be doing that again anytime soon. I'm sticking to uninvited closet exploration and otter pops.

I never ever thought I'd see the day a Super Mario character would grace a page of my blog. My life has taken a deep plunge. I may never resurface nor recover.